It’s fascinating how people change when in love…
I missed grams at the wedding L
An obviously thinner and younger looking Julio was married last night to what appeared to seem like a very nice lady. However, she failed to go to our table to thank us for attending such a beautiful wedding so I never really confirmed how nice she is.
I never talked to her…
Last night had to be the most awkward of the awkward. I was confused. My feelings were derailed throughout the night. I didn’t know if it was okay to be enjoying myself so much or if I should look displeased or WTF!
I “unfortunately” (dripping with sarcasm-*squeegee*squeegee* [the sound of my screen as I’m wiping off the sarcasm]) missed the beginning of last night’s festivities so I am unable to comment in detail about the antecedents to the end of an ASS-some night! I will cliff-note it for you guys because I can go on “forever ey” (that’s chola talk).
Cathy and Helen had the pleasant surprise of not being in the wedding due to some time management issues with the dresses. Unreliable sources report that Amelia The Second purposely was unable to finish the dresses. So Cat and Helen got a free pass to sit in the audience. Being super attentive as the Gonzalez members are…oh, that was a TYPO! Having short-attention spans, sidetracking problems, and distractibility like our family, some of you snickered during the sermon part where some BS about ‘knowing each other for a very long time’ was said. Sources confirm that both sides of the family engaged in this attention-seeking behavior. Okay, now for the good part:
What do you get when you have ASS-some food such as Deviled Potatoes (who would have known you can devil potatoes), strong drinks, and a DJ who is family? A stinky-ass, sweaty-ass, DANCE FLOOR! Drunk-Lola, Foot-Loose Lupito, and Pop-Blockin’ Anthony took over the dance floor, while I occasionally made my presence on it. Special appearances were made by Mario Jr, Omar, and Gilbert (not on the dance floor…well, Mario and Omar attempted).
Who would have thunk that Julio would EVER dance to Britney Spears? Or dance The Forbidden Dance as he approached Mrs. Gonzalez to remove the garter belt, OR who would have ever pictured Julio REMOVING A GARTER BELT!!?? I took Julio the right size garter belt but he rejected it. Ahhh, it seems so dream-like hearing Julio say "amaren a esos ninos!" That was so not him last night! FRONT! FRONT! FRONT! ATS (Amelia The Second) will be pleasantly surprised when the REAL SLIM SHADY comes out! I do love him! Because of him we are here in BIG BAD ASS PASADENA! Otherwise we would all been a product of Tepetongo life..UGH! And in all honesty, I want to see everyone in my family happy!
Roberto told Sira to take some dance lessons from me.
No one toasted to the bride and groom. DJ Heady made an attempt to get the crowd going but disgustingly failed…horrifying! Bitches better toast at my wedding! Bitches better SINCERELY enjoy being at my wedding too! I’ll make a mental note too that I better not wait to 62 for my wedding and if I do wait that long, backless will not be a wise choice (Cecy knows what that means). Uff, time is tickin'
A marriage that is built on a foundation of lies, will only last till you run out of lies.
Lola kept on repeating REMOVED PER REQUEST
Gaby kept on repeating : “I’m free, no husband, no kid”…what does that mean?
Manfred kept on repeating: “I love you baby”…I never really know what that means; I can never figure him out!
I overheard “the girls” in the bathroom talkin’ ‘bout “I spit the nugee in the milk and ______ drank it.”
Overall the wedding was a blast!
I wonder what the couple did on their wedding night when they got to their Honeymoon destination “The Ritz”?
BOBERT PICTURES!!!
Adeedoodoo sweated like a gay guy in a gym sauna last night!
Adeedoodo love you!
11 comments:
thanks for this post..
it almost feel as if i was there
=]
This was an awesome recap! The church had to be the most akward though. The priest said he was glad that they had known each other for so long. OMG, everyone had to stifle laughs. He also wished them many kids. The night was just WEIRD!! But fun ironically.
correction Cathy and Elena did not get a free pass they paid for their dresses and the flowers.
Sooooo where are the dresses???????
I know who and what "la (correction)terolera" is, but for now let's keep it a mystery.
eff the effin dresses! where's my money, bitch?!
Seriously...never had so much comedy in a wedding. Never had so much fun at the expense of the bride. And, no don't worry Ms. Valdez we hope to never, ever have to FAKE enjoyment or excitement at any other wedding. We will vow to be happy for any other couple that decides to get married, unless of course, it includes the same members of this last wedding.
I WANT MY MONEY!!!
bwahahahahaaa! we were so loud and obnoxious and made that "event" a total Gonzalez celebration! LOVE IT!
Please don’t refer to that lady as Amelia the second. She has already started working her magic on my dad. I relay hope things work out for him and his new wife.
Thanks for the wedding recap and pictures.
On the brighter side, as you all know I move about a year ago to New Braunfels it’s a small town south of Austin Texas. We had a new house build out side of town.
My boys have adjusted to there new school and are keeping busy in after school sports.
Pictures http://tx-pinnacle.info
Mario
m91016@gmail.com
830-515-0331
i want my MONEY!!!
Sooo....... it's hot in Texas.... not much going on over here.... ummm........ how's the weather in Cali?
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