Wedding Picture

Update on Gossip

Oh, by the way, the much anticipated reunion of 2 ex-love birds was a complete disappointment. No fueron los galanes :( 

My Today's Thoughts of Yesterday's Event

It’s fascinating how people change when in love…

 

I missed grams at the wedding L 

 

An obviously thinner and younger looking Julio was married last night to what appeared to seem like a very nice lady. However, she failed to go to our table to thank us for attending such a beautiful wedding so I never really confirmed how nice she is. 

 

I never talked to her…

 

Last night had to be the most awkward of the awkward. I was confused. My feelings were derailed throughout the night. I didn’t know if it was okay to be enjoying myself so much or if I should look displeased or WTF!

 

I “unfortunately” (dripping with sarcasm-*squeegee*squeegee* [the sound of my screen as I’m wiping off the sarcasm]) missed the beginning of last night’s festivities so I am unable to comment in detail about the antecedents to the end of an ASS-some night! I will cliff-note it for you guys because I can go on “forever ey” (that’s chola talk).

Cathy and Helen had the pleasant surprise of not being in the wedding due to some time management issues with the dresses. Unreliable sources report that Amelia The Second purposely was unable to finish the dresses. So Cat and Helen got a free pass to sit in the audience. Being super attentive as the Gonzalez members are…oh, that was a TYPO! Having short-attention spans, sidetracking problems, and distractibility like our family, some of you snickered during the sermon part where some BS about ‘knowing each other for a very long time’ was said. Sources confirm that both sides of the family engaged in this attention-seeking behavior. Okay, now for the good part:

 

What do you get when you have ASS-some food such as Deviled Potatoes (who would have known you can devil potatoes), strong drinks, and a DJ who is family? A stinky-ass, sweaty-ass, DANCE FLOOR! Drunk-Lola, Foot-Loose Lupito, and Pop-Blockin’ Anthony took over the dance floor, while I occasionally made my presence on it. Special appearances were made by Mario Jr, Omar, and Gilbert (not on the dance floor…well, Mario and Omar attempted). 

Who would have thunk that Julio would EVER dance to Britney Spears? Or dance The Forbidden Dance as he approached Mrs. Gonzalez to remove the garter belt, OR who would have ever pictured Julio REMOVING A GARTER BELT!!?? I took Julio the right size garter belt but he rejected it. Ahhh, it seems so dream-like hearing Julio say "amaren a esos ninos!" That was so not him last night! FRONT! FRONT! FRONT! ATS (Amelia The Second) will be pleasantly surprised when the REAL SLIM SHADY comes out! I do love him! Because of him we are here in BIG BAD ASS PASADENA! Otherwise we would all been a product of Tepetongo life..UGH! And in all honesty, I want to see everyone in my family happy!

Roberto told Sira to take some dance lessons from me.

No one toasted to the bride and groom. DJ Heady made an attempt to get the crowd going but disgustingly failed…horrifying! Bitches better toast at my wedding! Bitches better SINCERELY enjoy being at my wedding too! I’ll make a mental note too that I better not wait to 62 for my wedding and if I do wait that long, backless will not be a wise choice (Cecy knows what that means). Uff, time is tickin'

A marriage that is built on a foundation of lies, will only last till you run out of lies.

Lola kept on repeating REMOVED PER REQUEST

Gaby kept on repeating : “I’m free, no husband, no kid”…what does that mean?

Manfred kept on repeating: “I love you baby”…I never really know what that means; I can never figure him out!

I overheard “the girls” in the bathroom talkin’ ‘bout “I spit the nugee in the milk and ______ drank it.”

Overall the wedding was a blast!

I wonder what the couple did on their wedding night when they got to their Honeymoon destination “The Ritz”? 

 

BOBERT PICTURES!!!

Adeedoodoo sweated like a gay guy in a gym sauna last night! 

Adeedoodo love you!

MY BAD! G's playlist, not Rubber-Toe's.

So We All Know La Vivora De La Mar...

...will be on Rubber-Toe's Playlist for the wedding of the year, right? So let's give him other ideas of what songs to play...

1. Amor Prohibido

This one requested by "anonymous" that types in Spanish:

2.El Primer Tonto

3.

4.

5.

BREAKING JUICY EXCITING NOSEY NEWS!!!! (A piggyback from the comment in the Tio Julio's wedding section...)

What can be better than watching Julio marry a second Amelia? Bridesmaid dresses made by the bride? Yes! But that's not it. Watching Cathy and Elena walk down the isle in a bridesmaid dress? Yes, that too, but that's not it. Mi Abuelita "giving away" Julio for the 2nd time? Heck yeah that's a priceless moment, but again, not it! As a matter of fact, I think Tona Martinez will refuse to do that one. What I am referring to is a long awaited reunion between to ex-love birds! Ahhhh, the joy of nosey-ness. I can't say who they are. That would not be nice. I already made the announcement publicly and to give away names would just be immoral :) Anyhow, from what I know is that these two people don't like each other much... have not spoken to each other for quite some time... One is still heartbroken while the other has moved on.... TA-TA-TA-TAN!

In other news, my tummy is bubbly...I unfortunately had a latte with regular milk. (OMFG, did I just give away my identity???)

Breaking News!!

I have just been informed about some breaking news.
I am sad to say that today Christy has lost her baby.

She is doing okay.

The good news is that they called the stork and they have scheduled an appointment to try again soon. So with a little luck they will have another baby soon.

Here's to the future!!!

Its A Celebration!!!!

THE PROOF!!!!

The proof is finally here!!!! Got this picture from Cathy's myspace.... Looks like she's been keeping this secret for awhile now.... No wonder why she isn't at family gatherings anymore?!?!?!

Thalk about accidents!

A year ago the worst accident you have seen.!!!!!!......
Well, little girl, I suffered one of my worst accidents yesterday.
I felt on my back, my left elbow hit the the ground first, I tried to get up and my left hand did not feel right.
I saw it and I knew it was dislocated.
Elvia took me to the emergency room where the lower bone in my arm was brought back to right right place, not before sending me to revisit the 60's with a good dose of morphine.
So, I am out of commission for a while.















Catdog, please confess, I can understand that you feel sleepy working a grave-yard shift.

I worked it, for what seemed to be an eternity (two months.)


Is that the reason for being sleepy?


We don't see you much in the family's 'get-togethers',

"Make Sure and Tell Them That Large Marge Sent Ya"

On this very night, ten years ago...yes sir, the worst accident I have ever seen.

Dottie.

Large Marge is Catdogg's nickname. She Smokes and drinks like a 45 year old truck driver so she can't be pregnant. 

MOTHER-TRUCKER!

Esa Troca Madre!

I hate women who workout in in their regular bras. Buy a sports bra!!! Ross sells them for $7.

Kenny has psoriasis and his flakes stink!

We don't get subscriptions to meds but we get prescriptions (HUGO).

Mexican's need to invest in beach wear...

Secret Sport really works! Smell like cebolla? Try it. 

29.99 sunglasses from Macy's have a life expectancy of 1+years. 

Over exercising will cause really bad constipation...

STOP being so uptight! That's a problem..."that's why Cathy got pregnant" [Hugo quoted that].

Puerco Canyon.

Luminarias was Oscar De La Joya's spot and now it's Julio Gonzalez's spot.

I saw four Elephant Seals making out on the beach...they must've been from South Gate or East L.A. 

Ohhh, Hugo said "She wasn't uptight..." 

Adee-do-doo